The Allegory of Two Baths

By the time one is an adult they have had enough bullshit debates to draw a few lines in the sand. One case I find myself visiting a couple of times a year is one of hygiene: to bathe or to shower which one is better, gets you cleaner? Are you a body splasher or a puddle dweller? But before you step to your moral high-grounds, there are other more specious, more dubious forms of cleansing to consider. We can look to women of the night to bring something innovative to the hygiene debate. I present: the allegory of two baths.
 

One

It was meant to be a night of dancing, laughter and good times.  A group of sexy ladies with voluptuous lips and provocative outfits would hit the town. We were to toss back over-priced fruity drinks, grind with a couple of dreamers, plus dap and slap high fives to all of our tipsy truths.  She, would quickly gain her usual tenacity for gyration and sought attention before the first official drink. We primped, matched each others beauty, and imagined the fun that would soon take place. Lipstick, deodorant, fishnets, form fitting attire and apparel above the knee graced this group of vixens before leaving for the night. You couldn't touch or rush this. Our group: shower to shower, hot curler to hair, paint to finger tip. I caught a glance of Her: wash cloth to face, cologne to crotch. A whore's bath.

Two

She danced in the drizzle of one dollar bills, hoping that it would rain. Her body glitter twinkled in the spotlight as she snaked around, something much sexier than The Worm. All eyes temporarily coveted her figure, though she boogied with more zeal than actual grace. For the two songs She was a celebrity, an acrobat, and dilettante contortionist whose sole purpose to impress them enough to throw ten's and twenty's. For her hard work her clients were inspired to dig a little deeper, starting with five's. Her hair extensions did not yield to the pressures of sweat, anxiety, and perverted humidity of this place. Some investments are worth the extra money, she thought. The star would soon gather her bounty and end the set similar to the way it started. She rushed the calming strokes of cold baby wipes across her body then joined her boyfriend in the car.

Here we have two brief tales that demonstrate two different bullshit bathing techniques. Growing up overhearing gossip, I had heard of a whores bath.  Later the increase in presence and popularization of strip clubs and baby wipes would bring something new to the game of cleansing.  Before you debate the efficiency of the bath versus the shower, consider the range, with wash-ups in the sink being a middle place. The legitimacy of the whores bath and the strippers bath bring a new and humorous dynamic to this pseudo-social issue. Hmmmm...