Vacation Styles of the Broke and Restless: I: The Time-share

I recently went out with this guy who was an Upper who traded vacation stories with me. Uppers devote much time flapping their gums to give the illusion of being better off than they actually are. The worst kind of Upper is borderline delusional and somehow expects no one to deduce or cross reference anything they say with what they do or who they are. They rarely look like their life or sage has afforded them the opportunities they claim to have experienced. In this case, the guy wanted to appear as a cultured, cool profligate. But I could see through his vacation lies to the spirit of his broke hustle.


(Paradox: Fake designer bag full of $)



On our date, casual conversations about life experiences became a weird and unpleasant competitive volley. We would eventually talk about vacations. I told him about the people I met in the Bahamas and the local foods I tried while in Jamaica. He told me about how much he won gambling and how top-of the line his accommodations were. Wherever I went, he went somewhere better. If he deemed the location equivalent, he of course went there and somehow maximized it with his coolness to transformed it into a better time than I ever could have had. I wondered how someone who professed to have so much debt and no credit could still afford to travel. It was funny, the details of his stories exposed much about him. I'm sure if given any thought, he wouldn't have wanted me to know some of the things I extracted just yet. In sum he was broke-ass,  going on about his luxurious broke-ass vacations. I've seen the drug mule vacation and the go-to-a-different city and stay in hotel pretending to be rich vacation. His broke hustle was the time share ruse.

Although screening potential customers practices have changed over the years, here's how the time-share vacation ruse works: you contact or are put in contact with a company that sells time-shares. As a hustler, act as if you want a property but have some reservations and need convincing.These reps are really aggressive sales people. To make you seriously consider, at some point they up the ante and basically offer you and usually your family a chance to go see and experience the property. Keep in mind that time-shares are often in known touristy/vacation destinations. The company that owns or represents the time-share provides transportation to and accommodations for you and your family while your at the location. These potential buyers are allowed use the residence for the week/weekend. You simply provide your own food, and money for everything else ( food can be cooked at the timeshare to save you a little more dough.) 
-Voila, you and you friends have a paid vacation to the destination of your choice at little to no cost.

The down side: Half of your time is spent touring time-share properties and many day hours are spent listening to high pressure sales presentations. Not to mention you and all of your peeps have to work to string the time-share reps along for a week and not sign or commit to anything.  People who have never been anywhere are often willing to tolerate the inconvenience and ramifications of deception to get a free vacation out of it. Essentially the Upper, A.K.A. Señor Broke-Ass gave too much information in his vacation stories about viewing properties and staying at wonderful homes. I didn't grow up wealthy so this wasn't the first vacation hustle I had heard of. After all, what normal person who has saved just enough money for a cool vacation spends the majority of their time looking at homes they know they can't afford?

I'm no Rockefeller and know how to vacation on a budget. But I couldn't vacation with a person who has to hustle while on trip, I thought as he spoke. All the fancy footwork involved in the time-share hustle decreases the amount of enjoyment that I could actually experience on the vacation. The hustle also limits the amount of exploration that one can do because you have to meet for the next presentation the next day or in a few hours. People who are never positioned to or put themselves in a position to save for a holiday or any of life's extras don't mind benefiting by taking advantage of systems and programs.

What's all the more crazy/unfortunate/sad/whack is that these people, isolated to their relative experiences or lack their of can't or don't engage in normal vacation banter with ease. They are often unaware of what is considered normal chit-chat/questions about travel. Again, these restless spirits have never actually planned a trip/vacation as much as they happened to come by one. They actually see very little of where they have gone; simply happy to go somewhere fun in the sun, never really contemplating all of what the region has to offer. When the tale of fun is told restless hustlers hype you up on all the fun and try to avoid talking details about the logistics of their accommodations.

 Most people who pay to travel comparison shop, have some grand ideas about that they would like to see and include these contemplations in the telling. As a listener you have questions, some of the question are simply good to know for reference on what best deal is. Where did you stay? Did you get a good rate? Did you get to see the big ... (often requiring a day trip the time-share hustlers are unable to go on one) How far is it from _ to _? Was it all inclusive? Was it worth it?  Similar to the aforementioned Upper's method, the vacation tale is told in a very "I'm just as good as you" or "been there done that" kind of way which I cannot relate to. There is an aire of pretentiousness to the interaction that is unsavory. I talk to many different kinds of individuals and can see malarkey from a mile. Pardon me if I don't digest it and avoid consuming it. The Upper and I never went out again.